In this episode I talk about the different seasons as they pertain to us internally. How important each season is to our personal growth, and how to get the most from each season. Listen in!
You're listening to the modern Mormon, Episode Number 12. Hey there, I'm Kami Satterlee. And I'm the modern Mormon. I'm an Advanced Certified life coach who's dropped the all or nothing approach to life, and religion. I can't wait to show you how. I've got you, girl. Let's go. Hello, beautiful souls. And welcome to the podcast today. So real quick, before I get into today's topic, I want to make sure if you haven't already to go and leave a review for me. So whether you like this or you don't, you can always share it with somebody else if it's not your jam. And I gave myself a one on accident on the five star review, I gave myself a one. And so I really could use your five star review. So if you're listening, you're getting something out of this, please leave me a review. Alright, so today's topic, embracing the seasons of our life. I think when we think of the word seasons, we can all understand that there are seasons of nature, and we kind of understand how they work we recognize when we are in each one of those seasons, and then also what's going to come ahead and we can plan for that accordingly. But a lot of us don't do this with the seasons of life with us personally. Like as they come as they go. As they're, you know, coming and staying whatever it is, we don't sort of look at it. And we don't actually label what season that we are in. We just kind of defined it as good times and bad times. And so if we're in good times, it's like, yeah, I'm doing it right, I'm killing it in life, everything's going well. But when we're in bad times, we kind of look at it like something, something has gone wrong, I'm not doing something right, I could be better. And it can be very heavy, very depressing at times. And so I'm going to talk about that today. And I find this to be so important. Because when we can truly understand what's going on for us mentally, we can bring our hearts and our minds so much peace surrounding the circumstances in life. And so I love thinking of life in the terms of seasons, because it allows for four different times throughout the year that we truly get to reflect and renew where we're at in life and kind of where we want to go. When we can think of them in seasons. It really brings the awareness to our brain of where we are at spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. And the whole idea of this is not to label, like where we're at in life necessarily, but moreso just to create the awareness. As we're right here, like if I feel like I am in this season of life, and I want to get to this next season, I have that awareness and I can push forward to get to those different areas in life. Alright, so let's talk about the seasons of life. So the season you're in personally does not have to necessarily correspond with the season outside. Okay, so let's start with summer. Summer is my all time favorite. I used to live in Arizona, I loved it, I loved being hot. I never got tired of it. I love summer, okay. And when we are in summer, personally, this is the season where we are creating this is where we are putting things out into the world. And we're so excited, we've got new ideas coming, we can't wait to get started. It is happy, it's full of love. I like to think of summer kind of as like a new relationship where nothing can go wrong. Like, everything about them is perfect. This is the phase where it's like let's get married and have hundreds of babies and we're gonna be forever in love and live happily ever after. Okay, that is summer, when I was trying to figure out my purpose in life, and I was struggling for a really long time. When I finally found life coaching and I knew this is what I wanted to do. I was in summer, I could not wait to sign up, I was on a high I was so excited to change everybody's life in the world, the way that it had changed my life. And there is no greater feeling than that, right? When you have these ideas, you're ready to just go out there and make them happen, set goals, do all the things that is the greatest time, this is when you would say these are the good times in life. Okay. And the thing about summer, though, it's the same way that I define happiness in life, it's that we think that we would want to be happy all the time, we think we would always want to be in summer, but then we would never grow personally, okay, we would never have those times that make us think and have to go through trials and have to really, you know, come out of them and stretch ourselves and step out of our comfort zone. Right? So we can't be in summer all the time. And we don't actually want to be in summer all the time. But the difference between seasons internally versus seasons externally, is that when they're internally, we're not necessarily preparing for the next season, right? Like in winter you're going to wear a coat the entire time, because you know you're freezing but you know springs coming where when if we're in winter or we're in summer currently, we're not thinking about fall, we're always just hoping for the best Assuming that we're going to be in summer at all times, like I'm going to stay on this high forever. But that's not necessarily how it goes right. And so life needs to be so balanced, we need to understand that it's important for us to go and move through each of the seasons, they are all important to each other and important to our growth. Alright, the next season, I want to talk about his fall. And I heard a quote, and I can't remember where I heard it from. But it said, There is no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing. And I love that I love how that pertains not just to, you know, the external outside weather, but internally as well. There's no such thing as a bad season, it's just whether we're prepared for it or not. Now fall can be a really productive time as well. We think of it as harvesting, you know, the pumpkins, the crops, all the things that can also be within our own lives. Fall is when we're coming off of summer, we've put our ideas out there, but now we're really excited to just kind of go for it, we're very open minded, we're optimistic about our future, we're engaged. Okay, that is a lot of fun. I actually look at fall, personally as my time to kind of set new goals. And I don't really do this at the beginning of the year in January, that is more of my fall, when the kids go back to school, I can finally get my life back together, I can get on a more consistent routine. It's like the planning stages of your life. It's where you had all the ideas in summer, you're really pumped and excited. Now it's time for the wedding, right? It's time to get married to this guy that is so perfect in our eyes. So within my business, after I went and got certified through the Life Coach School, I instantly graduated and then was like, oh, shoot, now what? And it was fall and fall to me, it's kind of like it's the time to just let things go. And it was the time that I needed to put out into the world all the information that I had gathered, okay, so I was kind of out of summer now. And it was time to do something, it's more of the take action. Okay, this is where we kind of, you know, clean out our closets, get ready to prepare for winter, clean out our closets, and blow out our sprinklers. And get ready because we know Winter is coming, right. So when we are thinking of this internally, and we're going through these phases, it can be a little bit scary for me, it was hard to start my business and take that next step, it wasn't quite the same Hi, I had from just gathering that information and being so excited, it was now time to take action on that. And fall is an interesting one for us. Because there is a sense of excitement in the changing seasons. But we also know what's ahead, there's also kind of a little bit of a panic. And it kind of makes us want to hold on, like hold on to those dying leafs. And like hold on to the end of summer, I probably spent more time at the pool at the end of summer than I actually did during summer. Because there's just a part of me that it's like I got to fit it all in, I got to do all the things because I know what's coming. So for fall, I think it's all about letting go. Letting go of whatever we've kept inside, letting go of our past letting go of things that are old, okay, it's a time to just sort of reflect and renew. And this is sort of why I start my coaching program in the fall is because we all kind of gather up our thoughts, we drop the old things, and we want new ones, and we kind of want it fast. And so when people are ready to make a change, I find that it happens in the fall. Alright, so when the leaves fall off the trees, and internally, we kind of shut ourselves of everything that's been going on for the past year, we get a really clear view of what's left. And when that happens. This is when we move into winter. And how I describe winter winter is really hard for me, I can get seasonal depression. I haven't had it in a couple of years, I think because of the way that I trained my brain. But it can be a struggle, and it has been for me in the past. Winter to me feels empty. There is like a void within my life that I continually try and fill and I can't. It's a lot of negative emotion there sadness, depression, it feels like nothing's really gone wrong, but I'm unhappy. I'm unsatisfied in life. And I actually was just on a walk with my husband and we have kind of been in fall winter lately. Not him and I personally but just with the circumstances in life. And we were talking about it. And I told him, you know, in January, we sold our house, we were going to go sailing and we didn't and we approved it. And we moved into a house real fast one that we don't particularly enjoy, but you know, we're really lucky to have it. But all of these changes. You know, I started my business and he's been doing his work stuff. And then here we are, and a lot has happened in between there. And I told him the only way I can describe this feeling I have is homesick. I'm homesick for the life that I had back in 2020 because back in 2020 despite the fact that the world was kind of crumbling. And all the things with COVID. And the pandemic, Steve and I had the best year ever. Like, he spent so much time at home, he had separated from his partner in business and sold his half. And he was kind of opening up and ready to start this new opportunity somewhere else with business. And during that time, there was a lot of downtime him and I spent a ton of time on our patio, and we just loved it, like that was our summer. And so now that things are different, it feels heavy, and it feels so different than it almost has that feeling of it shouldn't be this way, right? That is winter. So in order to progress, we have to first have awareness. And I talked about like the different stages of awareness and how we do this through my coaching program. But what it takes is basically what we're thinking, we have to know what we're thinking, and then we have to be accountable for that. So we need to take ownership of basically ourselves, our thoughts, and our potential, our potential growth and results that we could have. Okay, so we do this by giving ourselves grace. And this can be so difficult, especially when we are in winter. Okay, so I like to do this by saying to myself, Oh, I see what you're doing here, okay, it's an instant awareness. And it's so crazy how that just kind of really eliminates a lot of that negative feeling that I'm having, just by the awareness. And by saying, I see what you're doing here, it kind of gives it like a freedom, a freedom because you're telling yourself the truth. And then once you have that, you're ready to move on kind of to the next stage, which is basically the awareness part and taking responsibility for that. whatever's going on in your life, I'm not when I say take responsibility, I'm talking about take responsibility for your emotions, if you're tying your emotions to the circumstances outside of you, that's definitely going to create a winter for you. And sometimes we mean, we can't control our circumstance, we can only control the way that we view them. And the way that we you know, want to view them in the future. But that is a process, it's not something that we necessarily want to just cover up and move to a new thought, when I'm coaching somebody that is in winter, and they're really struggling, they instantly want to come to a new thought they instantly want to not feel the emotion that they're feeling. But it is so important when you are in winter, to feel those emotions. And the reason is, is because that is what is going to propel you forward. And that's going to create that growth and create those results for your future that you actually want. So it's important to really work through those thoughts, understand why you're thinking what you're thinking, allow yourself to be human about it. And of course, I'm thinking this because this circumstances happening, it doesn't mean I have to always think this, but right now I am. Okay, so it's basically giving yourself grace. And I like to say that just parts of me are still healing, that is a way that it can really loosen up those negative emotions in winter. Winter can also make you feel like you're stuck in the shame blame trap. So if you aren't ready, and you're not taking responsibility for the results that you're getting in your life, then your brain will shift to the shame blame. This can keep you stuck, and basically so miserable, because your brain thinks it's just keeping you safe, right? It's protecting you by not accepting ownership of those negative emotions. But what it's actually doing is just layering on those negative emotions. So if you're feeling sadness, and then you're not accepting responsibility for that sadness, it can turn to anger, anxiety, things like that. When this happens, your brain basically becomes the boss of you. And you can change this, but you can only do that by taking ownership and having grace for yourself. Otherwise, if you are not having grace, then you feel shame, your brain will instantly want to put that out on somebody else or something else. And that's where it goes to blame. So if we can get past this, and we can accept responsibility, we can have grace for ourselves, then it's time to change. And this can be difficult sometimes, because when there is a change happening, the brain will suddenly look around and it loves where it's at. It'll be like, Oh, no, it's not that bad. Everything's okay. We like where we're at. And the reason is because your brain doesn't want to have to work harder than it currently is working. So in order to change it takes effort, it takes work and it actually takes changing our thinking. And it doesn't want to do that. So winter can feel heavy because there's a lot going on here. There's a lot of emotions and there's a lot to do in order to get out of winter. And when you are actually in any season, you can move in and out of seasons back and forth. You can do it within a week you can do it, you know in a short amount of time. And so sometimes if you're in winter, you can move back and forth through fall and winter. You can kind of see the upside. If you manages your brain. But then you kind of go back to winter sometimes and feel stuck. So our seasons can kind of rotate. And I think of it kind of like a circle. And we just move around that circle, no matter what's going on in life. The whole goal in all of this is to really understand where you're at within that circle. And not because you're necessarily in a rush to change where you're at. But when you can have the awareness of where you're at, you can see Oh, this is just part of the plan. This is part of me getting to summer, I need to go through this part, okay, it has the ability to really open your brain and really expand the way that you think in terms of, Oh, this is a season, it is just a part of life, and it's supposed to happen. So the positive things that can come out of winter, if we are looking at it through a managed brain is it's a time to really slow down, it's a time to protect, it's a time to preserve the things that we harvested in fall, okay, it's a time for reflection as well. Winter is where the growth happens. So in your relationship, when you finally realize that your partner's you know, his crap stinks, too. In the winter, it's a time to say, How can I learn through this? How can I become a better person and a better spouse through these areas that are really difficult, okay, this is after you're married, and the honeymoon is over. Okay, it's winter. So last year, during the pandemic, I would say a lot of people were kind of forced into winter. And so many people viewed this as a negative thing. But I looked at it as almost a positive thing. Suddenly, dads were home with their kids, dads were home with their families more, and we all had to slow down, it wasn't so fast paced and crazy. It wasn't the next thing go go go money hungry. And you know, we're all rushing in this life, it was a chance for all of us to reflect. And although there was a lot of fear and worry in that it brought families together, it brought people together and closer, and we really reached out and helped others. And it was an incredible experience. So for me in my life personally, I would say winter is what humbles me, winter brings me back, it is Oh, you thought you were so great and grand, oh, I'm gonna humble you. And I'm going to bring you back to what's important in life, I'm going to show you that, yes, you want it to be so successful and do all these things. But it takes time and it takes growth. And it takes practice and consistency, okay, winter is the most humbling experience if you allow it to be, you know, every time that I am consistently doing some type of workout regimen or whatever, I would say I'm kind of in, you know, winter fall, when I'm doing that, and I love it, I love the experience, the high all of it. When I go on a vacation, sometimes I can be frustrated, like, ah, I have to start all over again. And I have to work out you know, I kind of kept it off for a week and a half or whatever it is. But every single time that I have taken that week and a half, two weeks, whatever it is off from working out, I come back and my first workout, I always have the thought, why am I so much stronger. And it always fascinates me because I do know why. Because our bodies need breaks. Just like the seasons outside of us, you know, they work all summer, you know long to make these crops and then you know, we harvest them and then that needs a break, the tree needs a break. We also need that internally, we need that time to reflect and I like to use the winter months as a time to really get dialed in with my beliefs. And I love to teach this as well to truly go back and reflect on every single thing I believe spiritually about life about who I am as a person. And I really like to, you know, break it down and ask myself if I still believe those things, okay, so important because I know we're so busy during the rest of the months that we kind of did the things we fall on default, if you're religious or spiritual, you know, you could be reading your scriptures praying, but you're kind of just doing it repeatedly not thinking about it as much when you put thought into something and you really put the effort into understanding and then, you know, growing that belief, I find that it becomes you know, just like I just said, so much stronger in the end. So it is a great chance to renew those things that you have previously thought and believed. So if you're somebody that's super high achieving, and you're so used to hitting your results and hitting your goals in life, winter can be really hard because it's not the same progress that you were making in the summer, per se. And you can use that information to either make you or break you in this moment of winter because it's not supposed to be the same progress. Things that grow grow because of the time they take off. So just like your muscles grow, they grow during your breaks they grow during your rest days. That's the same thing as our goals and our results we need to rest we need to rest just as much Physically, but we also need to rest mentally. And for some, this can be really difficult because their brain is so used to go go go that they don't know what to do when they stop, they feel like something must be wrong, I need to be doing something my husband's kind of like this, he's GO GO GO busy, and has a hard time holding still. But when he does Hold still, and he does get that rest that he needs, it comes back way stronger within his business, and how he shows up to me and my kids. Alright, so our last season is spring. And I love spring because it's kind of like a rebirth, right? rejuvenation, rebirth, all things, you know, babies are being born. And I always feel like in the spring, just life and everything starts to come out of winter. That's why it's so exciting. Spring to me is kind of a deep breath, it is a relief from winter. Spring is where you realign with your priorities. It's when you actually reach out to God and you surrender to Him, you say show me Tell me the things. Spring to me is kind of a gathering of information. You just came out of winter, you were beating yourself up putting yourself down spring is where you start to heal. It's a lot of self care. Okay, that's the way that I view spring internally. So where winter is more reflective, and a more of a pause, spring is like, give me new material, I'm ready to go, I want to learn all the things I want to change, I want to make new decisions, new patterns, I want to get new results. Basically, I want all things to be just brand spanking new. When I was pregnant with my fourth baby Carver, I knew during the pregnancy that I would be delivering in the spring and April 1 of April. And I was really nervous because I knew I had to go through all of winter pregnant and I did not do well. I had postpartum depression in my last pregnancies. And I really struggled with seasonal depression in the winter. And so I planted tulips earlier that year. And I did this intentionally because I knew when the tulips came up that man, the baby would be here. And so when I saw those tulips come up, it was almost this relief of I did it, I got through the winter, everything was okay. And now I can have a baby and be happy. So spring always is kind of just this peaceful feeling. To me, that's how I describe spring. So when we are in winter, I feel like we spend a lot of time in our head, listening to ourselves. Because we're struggling so much, and we're trying to figure it out. And we're trying to get out of that emotion, we spend more time listening, and viewing and really having awareness of the thoughts that we're having through the winter. So by the time that we hit spring, we have built this trust within ourselves, and we know exactly what we want and where we want to go. So when I think of spring, it's so much self care, it's like, here we go, I'm sick of being in the winter, and we're just gonna go after it. Okay, so those are the four seasons for us internally. And the whole reason that I even did this podcast is to really bring the awareness of how important it is to understand where you're at in these seasons of life. And we want to always be reaching for the next phase or the next season of life. And in order to do that, we have to fully understand where we currently are. So if you do some reflecting, you'll notice what predominant season that you're currently in. And when you notice that it will bring up a lot of thoughts for you as to how to move forward, or how to stay put where you're at how to truly reflect and to hold space for yourself mentally and physically, spiritually and emotionally during those seasons. Because despite winter, being more of the rest season, we truly need rest throughout all of the seasons. And rest to me, it's just reflection. So if this is an internal thing, which we're talking about, it's important to reflect on all of the things that you're thinking and feeling and what results you're creating in your life to understand how to get to the next phase in life. So the seasons that we experience in life are not just something that we need to get through. They are a thing that we need to embrace. They are something that we really need to understand and allow. And when we can do that we can fully have the greatest human experience, and we can learn and grow more than we ever thought was possible. If you're ready to drop the all or nothing in your life, then I would be honored to be your life coach. Head over to the modern mormon.com to start your journey in becoming the confident authentic and best version of you.